How We Roomed Rebekah & Luke Together for the First Time

Family visits

Many of you know that one of my biggest fears is sharing rooms.  Seriously, I am a total wimp about sharing a room with either of my kids and I never wanted them to share a room!  We have never {not even once} slept in the same bed as our babies.  I think there have been 3 times {just a ball park guess, mind you} we have shared part fot he night with 1 of the kids as a toddler due to 1) travel, 2)an illness, or 3) jet lag.  Yep, that’s 3.

Why?  you ask…I know.  Well, I liked them having their own space that was decorated and made just for them and us having our own space just for us.  Much more, though, I really value sleep- theirs and mine.  And since we’ve always had the space to sleep them separately, there was no reason for them to co-habitate…except for when people visit us or we visit them.  Traveling with 2 kids has really changed the game.  And now that Luke’s 2, you can’t just put him in a bathroom anymore.

So, we have usually managed to avoid my nightmare of rooming them together by sleeping Luke in his happy tent in odd spots, for example, but this time {with Josh’s parents in town for 3 weeks} we decided to put the 2 kids together.  I dealt with my anxiety about the upcoming ordeal by not thinking about it other than making a basic plan.  {Yes, that’s called denial.}  But the first night did come and we survived.  Here’s what we did:

  • Good sleep is worth the effort.

    I moved Luke’s crib to the back corner of the loft so that he was away from the stairs if Rebekah got up before him.

  • I made sure he saw the new spot and napped in the new spot before tackling a night.
  • I talked it up big time and how fun it was to “get” {not “have”} to share a room together!
  • I also put Rebekah’s air mattress in the loft so both could see it and know where it would be.
  • We practiced with Rebekah on how to get up and get out quietly so as not to awaken little man before it was necessary.
  • I made sure they were really sleepy, but not overtired.
  • We did everything together: tooth-brushing, pj’s, stories, and prayers
  • I used 2 white noise generators- 1 by each of them since it is a decently-sized room.  {Two may have been over-kill, but I don’t care.}
  • I said good-night to both and shut the door.

Well, that’s what we did.  Here’s what I wish we would have done better.

  • Told Rebekah to ignore Luke and sleep through his fussing.  {can you really do that, though?}
  • Not let Luke bounce on the air mattress, adding to his growing belief that the air mattress is obviously where all the cool kids sleep.
  • Not used a night light.
  • Not allowed Josh to be gone the first night so I would not have his help!!!!!

I think the best things we did were talking about it, making it fun, practicing getting down the stairs, and you know my love for white noise, so the generators were clutch in covering toddler sleeping sounds, as well as 2 extra adults going up an down the stairs, etc.  The major downfall was the nighlight.  I was worried about Rebekah falling down the stairs, but she really is amazing at them and it was light enough from the rest of the house she could see enough.  As it was, I got to pay them a 4am visit on night #1- Luke was crying and Rebekah was singing {her song was: Don’t cry, Lukey!  God is with you!}.  I loved on them both, laid them back down, took away the night light, and you know what?  They BOTH went back to sleep within minutes!!!!!  Victory!

Now I am just wondering if they’ll want to go back to separate rooms?

Tips for Jet Lag {with kids}

I just wrote an article for another blog on recovering from jet lag.  Since summer is coming up and many of us will be traveling, I thought I’d throw some of those tips your way.  You’re welcome.  ;)

Our Background: Moving Overseas

Josh, Rebekah, Luke (2 years old and 4 months at the time), and I  moved overseas almost 2 years ago.  It was definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  I’m not sure if I had post-partum with my babies or just felt out of control and anxiety-ridden, but I really did struggle.  Luke was born in April and we got a contract on our house that month, so we had to pack up and move earlier than we intended.  In the  midst of feeding Luke at 10pm, 2am, 5am, and 7am every night and morning like clockwork (I was still ursing then- maybe that’s why I gave it up!!), I had to wrap up my life and pack my favorite house.  I sorted through our stuff, deciding what was worth storing and what needed to be given away or sold.  I had to say good-bye not only to my stuff (I do love things, I am sad to say), but also to my friends and family.  This house and city were where we brought home our babies and made our community away from our family.  I was heart-broken.  So, after everything was packed, sold, give away, or stored, and after we lived with family for 2 months and then said good-bye, the real fatigue set in….right when we skipped several time zones to Scotland.  I was intimidated to say the least.  I had no idea what to expect or how to adjust.  I hope to alleviate that tension for any of you!!

Tips for Jet Lag Reduction

Jet lag is pretty miserable anyway.  Arriving already exhausted only makes it worse.  I always think that as adults, we can power through it and reward ourselves with a nap or Coke Zero or whatever it takes to muster up the energy to keep going.  On the flip side, kids just don’t have the cognitive capacity to understand what is going on or why they feel sleepy when they do.

In my opinion, protecting their sleep is essential.  Here are some of the ways we ensured they (and therefore we) got good sleep:

  • Count on 1 day for every hour of change.  We had a 6 hour change- therefore, it took about 6 days for everyone to be completely back on track and feeling well.
  • Be reasonable in your expectations- you can’t expect to regain 6 hours in 1 night, no matter how tired you are.  (see #1)
  • Eat meals on the NEW time schedule.  This will help your (ahem) bowels, as well as your ability to sleep at the new times.
  • Shorten naps- don’t allow yourself or your children to nap for long periods during the day (unless they are infants).  This will only prolong the nighttime troubles.
  • Decide on a course of action for middle of the night wakings- will you snack a bit, get a drink of water, watch a movie, etc.?  You’ll make better choices ahead of time than in the moment.
  • Get black out blinds- almost everyone sleeps better in a dark room.
  • Use white noise.  Chances are you’ll be sleeping at odd times, possibly when the world around you is up and about (and therefore making noise).  Thus, mask it with white noise and they even have jet lag sound machines.
  • Be patient- you’ll get on track, I promise.

Our experience

For us, we missed Texas night during the flight.  The kids got a few hours of sleep, but not nearly what they would have in a bed at home.  So, we arrived in Scotland at 10:30am (4:30am TX time).  We settled in, got lunch, and everybody went down for a nap from 12-3pm.  We woke everybody up, snacked them, and had dinner at 5:30 or 6pm.  That way, we were eating at the right times and awake most of the day.  Even thought the kids did go down at 7 or 8pm, it felt like another nap to them.  We have made the trip 3 times now in the past year and a half, and all 3 times, Rebekah and Luke have awakened for 2 hours during the night.  Once they got back to sleep, they slept in until we woke them at 11am.  It’s crazy, but their little bodies felt like it was 5am!  So, each day, we woke them up an hour earlier, until we were back on schedule.

Bedtime shenanigans

Still time for the Japanese Tea & Scottish Shortbread Give-Away!

Sleep challenges

Rebekah was looking pretty bushed today- she was fussing about strange things, even on the way to a favorite park and Burger King. She did have a great time, but we know the signs of her exhaustion- whining and extra discipline-warranting choices.  The hard thing is that we can’t make her sleep.  I finally am at the point that I don’t care how much she sleeps, I just want her to enjoy life and be a blessing to others.

In addition to the fact that she gave up consistent naps well over a year ago (yikes!), she has now started sleeping less at night too.  (Double yikes!).  I believe this is the result of 2 things: 1) We live in Scotland and are enjoying extra sunshine, including the wee hours of the morning and 2) She is DRY every night!!! ….which means she holds it all night and wakes up to tee tee between 6 and 6:30am.  (Arg).

The last complication is that when Rebekah is up, everyone is up.  Bless her heart, she is not trying to be loud, but she stomps up and down the stairs on the way to and from the bathroom and she inevitably checks in on us to see if we’re up and to “snuggle” (aka thrashing around in between us).  Then, we send her back to her room.  This involves several openings and closings of not so quiet doors…extra noise and light (from her room) drift up Luke’s un-doored loft and can (tho not always) make him rouse earlier than he would on his own.  Like me, he hates the feeling of being left out.  Sigh.  So, add that all together, and we often have tired little kiddos (and parents).

When Luke is tired

He rubs his eyes and yawns

He says “Nuh-Nigh!”

He asks to go “Nuh-nigh!”

He asks for his “Paci!  Claw!”  (pacifier and his lovey, a worn out washcloth)

He giggles when I ask him if he wants to go “Nuh-night?”

He grins at me from his bed and says “I yuv you!  Nuh-nigh!”

So, yes, he’s easy.

When Rebekah is tired

She looks spaced out.

She is whiny.

She acts out.

She insists she’s not tired.

But she promises to take a nap, then doesn’t.

Not as easy.

{…today…}

However, today I told her she could play a little in her room, then she should try to take a quick, short nap.  She put together a puzzle, put it away, then put herself to bed.  I’m not kidding- love her.  She awoke refreshed and back to her sweet self!  Josh and I have been missing her.  A lot.  It was so wonderful to see her full of life and so responsive to us and our requests/demands.

The downside is that she took a nap…on the day that we lose an hour (so her 7:30 or 8 o’clock bedtime is really 8:30 or 9 and that’s just the starting point).  Fortunately, she doesn’t fight it or cry or anything.  Not at all.  She just has her shenanigans.  So many reasons to get up and stall sleep (Mommy, I’m trying, but my eyes keep popping open)….on the flip side, we have great conversations, too.  Especially spiritual ones.  Because Easter is coming, Rebekah requested we read more about Jesus dying and His daddy raising Him.  Again, not kidding.  Before you think too highly or her (or me), her next request was Fancy Nancy.  Then, she wanted to know about if Jesus came to tell us about Himself and how we heard Him if He didn’t come to our flat….then she wanted more info on the Holy Spirit and what shape He is and if I have Him, too.  She was truly sincere.  She promised to go to bed…but if you forget to sock her- she will let you know….among other things.

Meanwhile, back in the crib, Luke is out like a light.

So different.  Adore them both with all my heart.

Top tips for traveling with toddlers

For Rebekah and Luke, the word "airplane" and "candy" are synonymous.

Traveling with toddlers is interesting exciting.  We have done it a lot (across the States and no across the pond), so here is what we have learned.   Hopefully, it will help your family.

Planning (& Talking) Ahead For me, planning is wonderful- I try to think about what we will need way in advance, so I’m not running around all over town right before we have to leave, whether it’s snacks, gifts, or something else.  I try to bring Scottish gifts if I’m visiting someone.  There are packages of shortbread cookies that are just over a pound for a set of 4 or 5.  This is an easy and inexpensive way to bring a little Scotland to our friends and family.

Additionally, if your child is 1 ½ or over, I would recommend talking about the trip while you plan, pick up things, and pack.  Talk about how fun the trip will be, who you’ll see, what you’ll do so that the child is not blind-sighted by the change in routine.

In packing, consider whether you’ll have access to a washing machine and/or dryer.  If so, you can feel confident in packing less.  This is good since you might bring gifts and/or new clothing back.

If you are visiting friends or family, ask them to have some food items and diapers on hand, as well as the pack n play set up and ready to go.  You never know what state your kids will arrive in or how quickly you will be able to get to the store.  You might also consider setting expectations with them for sleeping arrangements and how tough travel is on kids so that grandparents, for example, don’t have different expectations than you and your spouse.

For example, I talk to my parents several times about where we’ll all sleep and we talk about when the kids will probably sleep, so that they’re prepared for that.  We also talk about how tired they’ll be after such a long flight and missed sleep and that they’ll be clingy to us, but they will warm up with time.  Lastly, we discuss favorite foods and diaper sizes we would like to have that we can reimburse for (though that never happens).  All of this helps us avoid unnecessary tension or hurt feelings.

Sleep Based on the timing of departures, I try to plan a couple days in advance sleep-wise- maybe shorten naps for earlier bedtimes for early morning wake-ups or the opposite- ensure good naps for later afternoon/evening departures.  Well-rested children travel the best.  J

Once on the trip, you’ll have to think about sleeping arrangements.  We travel with portable sound machines and/or ear plugs.  We also try to think about where the kids will sleep and if there is a way to prepare them for that with practice (sharing a room, a pack n play, a crib, etc.)  You also need to consider naps- when traveling, naps rarely go as well as at home.  If you adjust your expectations, it won’t come as such a shock.  J  If you have a child who still takes 2 naps, you may want to prioritize one over the other.  For instance, whichever one is typically the better, more restful nap is the more important one- make sure (s)he gets that one if possible  in the usual way.

For example, our kids aren’t used to sleeping anywhere other than beds, so we tried to give them naps in beds  at important times and always at bedtime( and not assume they could nap in the stroller or car).  However, Luke was in between 1 and 2 naps, so we let him snooze in the stroller or in the car seat when possible and put him down in the pack n play at other times when possible- we played each day by feel.  Rebekah didn’t consistently need a nap, so we planned more around Luke’s need for sleep than hers.  We always honored bed time because both kids need that.

As for jet lag, assume that it will take 1 day per hour of time change.  So, if you’re going to Germany which is one hour ahead, it should only take 1 day to get roughly back on track.  In contrast, going to the States will take much more time.  I will say again that having reasonable expectations in this area will help you avoid unnecessary stress.

Food Dependent upon where you’re going, you may or may not have access to the food your children are used to.   It may be beneficial for all involved if you bring some familiar snacks with you.  This is especially true for specific types of formula or baby food.

Toys You also may not have access to toys, so you’ll want a few toys that will amuse your children for a while.  Don’t bring anything you can’t live without or that will be expensive to replace.  I like to bring cars, dinosaurs, dolls, soft books, balls, etc.

These are essential items to be readily accessible (in your carry-on or in reach):

  1. Your child’s sleepy things, be it a pacifier or a lovey or a special blanket.  Have back-ups either on you and/or at home, so that if you lose one, you are not doomed.
  2. Suckers, candy, or special snacks that will buy you “happy time” on the plane, train, or automobile.
  3. A fully-charged portable DVD player (with charger) and DVDs
  4. Books and quiet toys that you can pull out in intervals- meaning, don’t give your toddler everything at once- space it out in half-hour or hourly increments
  5. If you are flying, it may benefit you to have empty sippy cups you can fill in the airport or on the plane
  6. If in the car, have some back-up juice and/or bottled water
  7. We typically buy 1 or 2 special, never-seen-before items (sticker books or action figure) that will be a special present for the trip
  8. Formula, bottles, pump, etc that you will need to feed your child
  9. Enough diapers and/or pull-ups for the trip or at least for the travel time (plus a few extras because you just never know)

Happy travels!!